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Reviews of Stone Mad
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Stone Bad
You are going to be impressed by the lovely decor (the ceiling), the awesome patio, the bar, the bocce "court" and then you are going to be stuck with the "meal" they serve. And by stuck, I mean stuck. Once the wait staff gets your order, you will never see them again. (I have no idea why a garlic emporium/bocce court has an Irish welcome at the door.)
I have this little rule I follow. Grade the establishment by the amount of garlic they use. I have found that if the quality of the ingredients is lacking or the cooking skills are lacking, they smother the food in garlic in an attempt to prevent you from noticing the poor quality. Stone Mad rated an 8 clove (out of 10).
Now, let's get into the detail about the food. Two of my guests each ordered the smothered steak (which is basically a very expensive steak sandwich smothered in mushrooms and onions). One guest was satisfied. The other had to disassemble her sandwich, cut out the hunk of gristle fighting her, reassemble the sandwich and continue eating. Frankly, if I wanted my guest to put in that much effort, I would have assembled a picnic spread on my patio and told her to help herself.
My third guest ordered the T-bone. He said that he frankly could not even tell he was eating meat because of the level of garlic. Worse, he was desperate for something to wash it down with but we apparently had engaged the cloaking device and our waitress didn't come back (until it was time for the check).
I had the penne pasta marinara (with meatballs). First the meatballs. Were they made of beef, veal, pork, cardboard--who knows. They rated 9 cloves in garlic. As for the pasta, at first taste you might think that it was cooked al dante (my preference), but wasn't. There was an unfamiliar chewiness yet dryness to it. The marinara sauce (which I appreciate is prepared quickly) was a little too "raw." Very few spices (I detected three pieces of basil, which when combined would have been the size of one-half of one postage stamp). Then it hit me. They either took semi-cooked pasta from the fridge or raw pasta and some water and microwaved it. Slap a squished tomato and about an eighth of a leaf of basil on top, nuke for another minute and PASTA! Yuck.
The sides: Potatoas -- dry, unseasoned mess; rice - looked just like the picture on the Zadaran box, but tasted as dull as the box. Mushrooms, sauteed in some oil and lots of salt.
Save your money or just go there to get expensively drunk on a really cool patio. Too bad they don't just serve the stones.
Review by Betty Ruble from Cleveland, Ohio posted August 24, 2010
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